I dont like what things are happening right now. Infact, all the things that are taking their bad course, i really........ uh. Everything is not the same anymore. Things that i screw up really affect me alot, and things that because i forget then it's screwed dont make me feel good. Seriously, i still want to serve, i still want to give my utmost to God. No more buts, just faith to believe.
This may be a test for me, i know God is testing my patience and endurace about the commitment i've made to him regarding about the lives that has been placed in my hands. About the commmitment that, i said i'll pull it thru, w/him.
No matter how things is sooooooooooooooooooo bad, how people can literally just suck my tank dry, God, mould my heart to be more and more Magnanimous as yours. Fill me. Grow my faith that i will be able to trust in you and stand strong. I want to have the faith again that you're here, you're with me. I know, its not gonna be like an overnight process that everything will be fine again, at least, i know when i wake up everyday in the morning, i know you're here just with me.
And, its not the ears to listen if you're here, not the mind to know if you're here, but the heart. Its the heart.

No point raking up the past?

do no good to us. and, just

forget about it,

really. this sucks so badly.