Conquered

oh hihihi! :D

its been super long since i've updated this soon filled w/spider webs spacey of mine. OH YEAH, i've finished my papers except for my science. and, the papers are really manageable. I realised, i never had spare time to look around and stare into space except for maths, they're on my finger tips! :D One more paper to go, AND I'M NOT GONNA BE TIED DOWN SO MUCH ON STUDIES, but time to focus more on my personal growth and relationship with God already, time to progress and step up during the june hols.

im super lookingforward and excited for north's camp and also, time that im gonna spend w/both of my sheep AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, TO G.R.O.W THEMMMMM!

I've never expected i could be still breathing and smiling in the midst of my exams, when past 2 weeks, my soul was already suffocating. Really thank God, for everything. My mommy, firstly and bridget lin qi xin! :D i've been meeting her for almost 3 times per week, to brush up on my maths, and i can say i've really made a bigggggggggg progress. HAHA! not bhb ok! But of course, i do feel demoralised before my examinations. My heart tend to be filled up with anxiety and worries. One after another.

I remember being so distracted during one of my tuition w/bridget. so so distracted. i think, that's the worst scenario outside, that i actually threw my temper. :/

and my energy tank just dropped ttm.

But even though those words pierced right thru my tinywiny heart, i still want to continue to love ppl the way God loves, :) i know by giving up on blablabla that time won't gonna make me feel any better, but just dissapointed in myself.
And i am so amazed now, by how people just say they wanna give up, without trying or saying they dont wanna take this sheep, because they're not ready. I dont mean that you cant have a say in such decisions, but if you're not ready, THEN WHEN EXACTLY DO YOU THINK YOU ARE READY? if you feel that its hopeless, thrash things out with God, :)

am not tryna make things sounds its easy, but take time to ZOOOOM OUT :) if you get what im tryna mean. Haha.

persoonally, i think that we tend to feel we cant make it sometimes, feeling that its too impossible because of circumstances/situations. then we start to slacken, our spirit of excellence got flushed down the toilet bowl, then we start we're mumbling to ourselves to have faith for the sake of it and not truly meaning in your heart. All these have to stop.

Everyone got to reflect on everything that they wanna do before they even start doing it, truthfully. Every word that comes out from our mouth. every prayer being made, faith is sure needed. BUT that faith, is not the faith that comes from the rules and regulations. but the faith that your heart is assured and TRULY believe God is there, listening.

when we're too busy, toooooooooooooooooooooooooo coped up with the small and big things in life. we need to stop and let our soul breathe, and realign oursevles again. dont keep it going till the point that you dont even realise your soul is suffocating, because just when you stop, you'll drop out.

I'm gonna have greater faith that God IS gonna use me use me use me, to grow and lead my sheep. Its not gonna be hard if i do it step by step and not depending on myself. If there's a rough patch that's gonna come ahead, let me hold on to my pillar of strength.

hehe haha hoho :)

and also, belated happy mommy's day :) . everyone seem to be thanking and saying how much their mum is in this whole world. Oh great :) haha, yup it brought me back again, to what happened 6 years ago. saddening but, this day never fail to remind me that she's still in my heart :) never once felt that i reached today on my own. Thank God for all the mommies. HEHE :) i love my mommy too. :)

>

AND FINALLY MY BELOVED IS COMING TOMORROWWWW :DDDDDDDD